Love thyself

“I don't want to be with someone
who splatters their pain
across the Internet”
he said,
smirking

“And I don't want to be with someone
who could never get me”
I said,
turning to leave
letting myself feel
his disapproval
echo in my body
Letting it hit my heart
but not take home in me

Here is the thing my friends
Some of you
want me to assure you
that becoming more and more you
is going to go pleasantly
that you will end up
not only loving yourself
but be more adored
and your life will open
beautifully

And that is lovely
but just not guaranteed
In fact, quite the contrary
As you become more
you
there is a high probability
that it will trigger
those around you
and when people are triggered
they can come at you
with all their
disappointment
hate
and just plain
dissatisfaction

And I can tell you
it doesn’t feel good
And I can also tell you
it still feels better
way better
than trading
me
for
the chance
that you might like
who I am pretending
to be

Because sometimes
in the most precious
of moments
I get seen

And it feels better
then a million
sweet empty
somethings

And it carries me
through moments
like these
when my heart cracks open
and someone gets in
who has blatant disregard
for that which I hold dear

Someone
who just
doesn’t get it
get me

And I get it now
I understand
This my friends,
this is how you know
if someone
is a person for you

Because some will retract
and some will lean in
as you reveal
more of you

Choose the ones
that lean in

Yes this
please

Choose
the ones
that lean
in

by Emily Rosen